According to legend, The Holy Cows is a State College, PA-based alt/punk band that came together by divine providence to lead humanity toward a new, profoundly transformative spiritual awakening.

This is, of course, debatable.

In more concrete, scientifically measurable terms, The Holy Cows were born as a band on Cinco de Mayo (that's May 5^th, gringo) 2004. All four bovines in the band have played in and around State College for years (individual bios below). Two years after forming to the day (May 5, 2006), they released their debut EP, Mad Like a Cow, upon a largely unsuspecting public.

Coincidence? We don't think so...

Though The Cows hardly ever perform live, you can download their mp3s for free and enjoy their music anytime. Better yet, e-mail them a request for a high-fidelity EP on compact disc, complete with stunning graphics. And if you really, really, really want to see them play somewhere, ask and maybe you will. Stranger things have happened...

By the way, if you want to learn more about Cinco de Mayo, and the unusual role played by cattle in the great battle that took place that day, go here.

The Holy Cows are (from left to right in the picture above):

Matt Zelenz--drums, backing vox
Matt was the 3^rd guy to join the band, at James' suggestion. He's one hell of a drummer. And he is WAAAAY too good at counting complex rhythms out loud, which really confuses the hell out of the rest of the band. Matt also plays drums in State College party-rock band Mr. Hand. He used to play with Mike in Velveeta. Matt has also taught small children, professionally. We find this alarming.

James Miller--guitars, backing vox, synth bass on red heifers & white buffaloes
James was the 2^nd guy to join the band, at Cole's request. This was a very fortunate thing for the Cows, because James' basement is where the songs for Mad Like a Cow came together. A highly versatile musician, James also plays bass and sings with State College's JR & Katie band, and used to do the same in Dogtown Road with Cole. When not making music, James gets paid to play with dangerous chemicals.

Mike Lee--bass, backing vox, beer bottles
Mike was the last guy to join the band, at Matt's suggestion. The only full-time musician in The Holy Cows, Mike can be found onstage most nights singing and playing guitar in State College's perennially popular 80s cover band, Velveeta. Mike's keen musical instincts help keep The Cows' songs lean and mean. Without his presence in the herd, the band might still be out there in the pasture, mindlessly chewing the cud until Armageddon.

Cole Hons--lead vox, loops & SFX, acoustic guitar on red heifers & white buffaloes
Cole founded the band (in his head, at first) because he was encouraged to do so by a disembodied entity who cannot be sufficiently described here. (Or maybe it was just his imagination, combined with a yearning to rock out like he used to in his old band, Dogtown Road.) Cole writes things and makes videos for money, sword fights and wrestles his kids for fun, and tries to cook spicy international food for his frighteningly talented wife once a week. He's always working on about 6 new songs. E-mail him if you're curious.